The Missing Piece

I found what was missing from my photographs last night. 

As artists, in any media, there is a certain level of perfectionism or standard we hold ourselves too.  We try not to, but it's there (even in the slightest) and probably always will be.  It's just human nature... we are critical of ourselves and our work, especially the work we put out there for others to see.

I love photography, ever seen I can remember I have always wanted to hold a camera or try to express myself in some sort of way using art.  But, I'm not gonna lie, it's a hard balance between getting it right technically and having that artist/creative touch.  You so badly want to get it "right," (whatever that is)... there is like this rule you place on yourself in your sub-conscience of what perfect is (hello, art is subjective!!!).  This can def. put a damper on the whole artistic process.  Sure you can throw out the mantra of, "I don't give a shit what other people think..." but deep down you only really care what you think, which ties back to is this right or wrong, it doesn't look like so & so... blah, blah, blah...

So going back to my "discovery," art will always be, til the end of time, subjective!  So art needs to be about what speaks to us.  Art is about emotion, about the soul, about heart.  If it doesn't provoke an emotion -- good, bad, ugly, whatever... then it's not really doing it's job.

Along this journey through photography, I've always thought my photographs were missing something, I couldn't quite put my finger on it.  I would ask for advice, critics, my husband and would get kind of similar answers to your work is great, amazing, I would get some constructive criticism and work on things... but I didn't' understand what was missing until last night.

It was my AH HA MOMENT!  I'm taking a film class (video film -- not film film...) and we had a Skpye chat with our teacher and she was explaining how taking video and producing a family film is far from perfect... video shows all the imperfections of 1) your life and 2) technical video can be "messy" it will never be perfect.  AH HA!!! 

I had been fighting the urge to take up videos because 1) my camera doesn't have the capabilities to do that and 2) I just didn't know if I had enough time & energy to learn something new and actually produce it.

Well I've fallen in love all over again with photography & film.  Her goal was for us to fall in love with making videos... DONE!  Just listening to how much this means to her, spoke to my heart & soul.  I was totally a movie junkie when I was little and it makes total sense now... I always thought how cool it would be to be a director (of course I also wanted to go into space... I'm complete afraid of heights and flying!) But it also makes sense too, because one of my favorite movies is Apollo 13 (Nerd alert!)

But this whole process has lite a fire in me and I can't wait to keep diving into this new path! 

Stay tuned... I debut my final project in 2 weeks!

Lauren Bodwell